I Hate Spiders
(A true story apart from the shoe ending I’m not that horrible)
The other day I was sat in my favourite armchair watching a spider walk
down the living-room wall. It wasn’t a big spider so I wasn’t scared, well not really
scared like I normally am. Anyway, it got me to thinking that this spider was living
with me for free. He or she wasn’t paying any rent or giving me anything towards
the gas and electric bills and he or she certainly wasn’t giving me anything towards
the food bill. So what was I to do? I can’t throw him or her out because that would
make me look hard and cruel and not very charitable. I know I’ll do what I always
do. Now, where is my shoe?